I re-wrote this title several times as I was worried people would think I’m going to defend Russell Brand because I absolutely am not. I grew up and was a young adult when Russell was in his big time hey day and I always thought there was this very gregarious persona that he portrayed that didn’t seem congruent for me. I can spot incongruent, inauthentic people a mile off (that’s the empath). There’s no way you can be ‘very, very promiscuous’ and not get into some awkward conversations at some stage about consent.
Hello, I’m Becky Grace Irwing. I write about women’s mental health, specifically binge eating disorder, eating disorders and systemic and power imbalances as causes of mental health difficulties. I’m a BABCP accredited CBT Therapist working privately and in the NHS with eating disorders. I help women with binge eating issues heal their relationship with food and their body. Please subscribe to support my work & to read more. You can also find me on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook and LinkedIn. My website is Becky Grace Therapy.
We know that like most things, that consent is nuanced, I had to go to the Wiki page to read about all the different kinds of consent just to make sure I’m not misunderstanding. Power differentials/imbalances are key in the conversation when it comes to consent or lack of it. Russell was in a huge position of power when he was younger and this will have had significant influence on what he thought was consensual activity.
We must (and I will) always believe survivors. The years I’ve experienced with 1:1 consultations/assessments/therapy of accounts of women who have experienced sexual assault suggests so. I appreciate this is anecdotal evidence but perhaps going forward I should start recording data, to be published in a paper, so people believe what I am saying. It’s interesting that quantitative data has to be king isn’t it? I’ve got plenty of qualitative data available if anyone would like to research it (in future, obviously, otherwise I’d need to go back and get consent of everyone I’ve ever supported). Many of the women I have supported with eating disorders have a history of some form of abuse, neglect, trauma or assault somewhere.
I have my own experiences of sexual assault. When I used to get felt up when I worked in a retail shop. When a boyfriend repeatedly wanted to have sex with me when I didn’t want to. When I was informed I was ‘frigid’ because I didn’t want it and if I ‘loved him I would’ Bleurgh. The times I went to nightclubs in the early 00s and was groped. There were however a handful of wonderful male friends who essentially would chaperone us around a club to make sure we weren’t harmed. There are many, many, many more accounts I have like this. This behaviour was normalised, accepted and laughed off (because it was seen as normal….)
I feel myself getting angry as I write this (as I should, angry women are everywhere, we are not mad, we are sad - and angry).
Anyway….
I’m wondering if I have been radicalised.
There I said it.
What’s that got to do with Russell Brand?
Well, I do wonder why now for the Dispatches programme to come out, is there a specific reason right now? The truth is always nuanced, it’s usually some kind of mixed information and although I don’t think it’s a conspiracy theory, I do come back to power and who is wielding the power, and the power of longstanding institutions as the authoritative experts in an area (hey BBC, old universities, government, any longstanding organisation/industry - music industry etc).
Ultimately despite social media wanting me to take a side, I believe in multiple truths (and so do you). I believe Russell Brand was/is a perpetrator, I believe the survivors and I know it can take a long time for people to gain the courage to speak out to powerful industries because ultimately you will be dismissed and not taken seriously. I also believe there may be a reason for it to come out now. Who knows and I don’t have any evidence to support this, just a feeling.
The reason I’m worried I’ve been radicalised is that my social media is cultivated to algorithms that divide us deliberately. The more sausage dog posts I like, the more I get shown, the more I’m interested in spirituality the more I see. I don’t see the Andrew Tate posts but my ability to read differing views and disagree respectfully is waning, I’m becoming reactive to every new piece of shock information every day. So many voices, so much misinformation. I don’t know what is truth any more. I’m worried I’m losing my ability to be nuanced, appreciate multiple truths and just attack.
I’m remaining hopeful that the fact I’m even pondering that I’ve been radicalised, hopefully means I haven’t. But I am worried that I don’t know who to believe on the internet any more. I have many academic qualifications that position me as someone with ‘authority’ ‘power’ and I know how to read information critically from all angles, but what if I’m not being shown all those angles? How is this shaping my thoughts, my brain?
I’m infallible, I’m human, I sometimes read and believe things on the internet that I shouldn’t have at the time, dependent on the narrative of the media. We are on our phones so much, our attention is being stolen by the biggest nervous system dysregulator of the day before we move on to another one.
I suppose all I can do is try to continue to use my critical thinking, offer abundance, love and support to offers and reduce my time in the online space to intentional, creative work like this blog and then go out and live my life ‘in the real world’, whilst there are wars raging in the online one. I feel like I live in two universes sometimes. I have to protect my energy. So here I am, sat with my black obsidian that I bought yesterday for protection, reducing my media consumption once again to not get sucked in.
I’d love if you would connect with me on this post. What do you make of it? Leave a comment and we can have a conversation.
Interesting Becky your perspective on radicalisation. I believe the women but I looked at the #russellbrand on X I don’t read it often. So many men and women thought it wasn’t true. It’s all made up, etc etc. I feel sick about it because like you I’ve been grabbed, bump touched and even my boobs in clubs. I’m sure a guy slid his hand over my bum at the gym last week.
I’ve also been told I’m frigid because I was too drunk to sleep with a boyfriend and I passed out. This would have been my first time too but he was an egotistical fool. I’ve been assaulted too so I’ve felt angry because when will we be able to feel safe?
I live in Leeds and a couple of years ago there was a spate of girls being injected with drugs by strangers. It’s sick, behaviour. Like you I’m very empathic
I digress but I did find your interpretation and your viewpoint. Have you read anything written by a man?