NHS Talking Therapy vs Private Therapy: What’s Best When You’re Navigating Tough Transitions?
If you’re reading this, you might be feeling like you need a space to be heard—a place to process out loud without pressure to “fix” or solve everything straight away. As someone who’s walked the path of complex trauma, neurodiversity, and healing from eating disorders, I know how important it is to have therapy that fits where you are, not just what’s expected of you.
I’m Becky Grace Irwing, a therapist who specializes in working with deep thinkers, sensitive souls, and those with complex trauma and neurodivergent brains. I also know how draining and confusing it can be to choose between NHS wellbeing services and private therapy. I have also worked in both NHS Talking Therapies in East London and in private therapy practice here in Norwich. So here’s a transparent, grounded look at the pros and cons of each, so you can find what feels right for you right now.
NHS Talking Therapy (Wellbeing Services) — The Listening Space
Pros:
Accessible and usually free: The NHS offers a no-cost way to access talking therapies, which is a huge plus if money’s tight.
Great for immediate emotional support: Especially when you’re in a tough or transitional phase, these services are designed to offer a safe, structured space to be heard.
Evidence-based approaches: Most NHS services use CBT and other tried-and-tested methods, which work well for symptom relief and practical coping skills.
Good entry point: If you’re new to therapy or want something short-term, this can be a great way to start.
Cons:
Short-term and structured: Sessions often have a fixed number and focus, which can feel rushed or limiting if you want deeper, more open-ended exploration.
Less tailored to neurodivergent or complex trauma needs: The focus tends to be symptom reduction rather than holistic healing or processing at your own pace.
Waiting lists and limited scheduling: You might wait weeks or months to get started, and appointment times are often less flexible. (However, if your problem is deemed more ‘simple’ (in diagnosis terms) i.e. single incident trauma such as an accident, a phobia, OCD, health anxiety - i.e. a specific problem with a diagnosis, then you may get seen quicker by a trainee or if you are pregnant or within 1 year of postnatal period.
Less room for processing vs. problem-solving: If you just want to talk something through without aiming for immediate change, this might feel a bit rigid. It can be super duper structured if you have lower intensity therapy i.e. guided self help by phone, or still quite structured and rigid with CBT delivered protocols at the ‘higher intensity’ of therapy.
Eating Disorders services are not generally served by NHS Talking Therapies, usually Tier 3 NHS services and you have to refer in via your GP. However, I have seen some pilots trialled with NHS Talking Therapies in East London exploring ‘milder’ eating disorders (I use those quote marks intentionally) and services such as FREED - but I’ve been out of NHS services for 18 months now, so up to date changes I’m not as in the coalface of as before, so you may want to do more research here.
Private Therapy — The Personalized Journey
Pros:
Tailored to your unique story: Private therapy offers the flexibility to work at your own pace, whether that’s deep processing, insight, or practical change.
Ongoing support and continuity: You can build a therapeutic relationship that evolves with you, especially helpful when healing from complex trauma or navigating ADHD and Autism.
Varied approaches: You can find therapists who understand neurodiversity, trauma, eating disorders, and more—and who hold space without pressure or judgment.
Flexible scheduling and longer sessions: You have more control over when and how often you meet, plus the option for longer, more fluid sessions.
Cons:
Cost: Private therapy requires payment, which can be a barrier but also an investment in your wellbeing.
Finding the right fit can take time: It’s normal to try a few therapists before you find someone who really “gets” you.
Less oversight: While many private therapists are highly trained and accredited, the quality can vary—so it’s important to do your research. Look at their accrediting or regulating body for more information. For example, a lot of people know about the BACP for counsellors, but are less aware of the BABCP for CBT Therapists. The same for EMDR. Lots of EMDR courses out there, but some aren’t accredited or supervised and any qualified EMDR therapist will be happy to give your their membership number, they can also work towards accreditation (like I currently am) and then allowed to be listed on the EMDR Association UK website (or EMDRIA internationally)
What I Want You to Know
Choosing therapy isn’t about “better” or “worse.” It’s about what feels right for where you are now.
If you want a listening space to talk through difficult feelings in a structured but supportive way, NHS wellbeing services might be the right fit, especially if cost is a concern.
If you want a more personalized, long-term relationship with a therapist who understands the nuances of neurodivergence, complex trauma, or the unique challenges of managing energy and overwhelm, private therapy could offer that deeper connection.
And here’s the thing: it’s okay to start with one and move to the other. Healing and growth aren’t linear, and your needs will evolve. What matters most is that you feel seen, heard, and safe wherever you choose to open up.
If you want to talk more about how to find the right therapist, what to expect in therapy, or how to navigate NHS options, I’m here. Feel free to reach out or subscribe to this newsletter for guidance, resources, and reflections.
Becky x
